Lost Memories

  My mom never did anything wrong. So why is does she have to suffer from cancer? We knew about her sickness a couple years ago and I told myself she can get through this and she’s strong, but as I am seeing her in her bed the doctors strolling her bed to the operation room she looked so weak. I knew this as the last of her. As I opened my eyes I saw the nurse come towards my direction I saw her face pale white and that could only mean one thing. When she came and talked to me her words blurred out and I was thinking to myself what am I going to do. I cant live with my dad. Him and my mom spilt long time ago and now he has a new family somewhere in Michigan. I went outside the hospital and ran away to get my head clear. Somewhere in the woods so no one can see how ridiculous I look crying like a fool. Without thinking I ran and didn’t have a care in the world where I was. After about 40 minutes I stopped and came upon a cliff. One part of me said jump and be with my mom, but the other side said stop and think do you really want this? I sat down on the ground and searched my backpack I still had on since I left early and went to the hospital. When search through my backpack for food I saw my notebook and got an idea. I was going to do everything I want to do in life before I die. Then I will think whether to jump or not.
 I was writing and writing for what seemed like 10 minutes but actually was 2 hours. When I looked at the progress I have made I saw that there was more then a whole page of adventures worth doing, even it was dangerous I kept telling myself that you only have one life on this earth, one chance. I wiped off the tears that was still in my eyes and got my phone out. It was 10:38 pm and I got up and headed home, even though I had no idea where that was. Finally when I got home it was 1:02am and I directly dozed off. RING RING RING that was my alarm clock for school as I got up and looked at myself I started to think of my mom and I started to bawl out crying. For hours I was in my bathroom crying then the pone rang and I tried to pull back the tears. “Hello?” I said, it was the school counselor, they knew why I wasn’t at school and asked if anybody was with my or wanting to send someone there so I wouldn’t be alone. “Thanks, but no thanks” I replied then hung up. In the last 24 hours I looked back and thought when I was the happiest, then I remember when I was making that list. I ran to get my backpack and wiped off the dirt covered in it then got out my notebook. After I read it I thought to myself is this who I am do will I actually do these things?
37) Climb to the top of Mt. Everest
38) Skydive with someone you hate
39) Tell everyone you see at school and tell them what is on your mind about them.
  As I was reading this I decided to start now and tell myself, there’s on time like the present. I headed out the door with my notebook and read #1.
As I headed in the motorcycle dealer store I just turned 17 and I always wanted to ride a motorcycle. When they said I could rent one for a day instead of wasting 100’s of dollars is a class I looked it up online. After about 30 minutes researching I put my helmet on and started the engine. As I was at an open parking lot teaching myself how to ride this vehicle I started getting the hang of it. I rode all around the parking lot. I thought I was getting good so I went out on an actual rode where other cars were.
  “What are you looking at?” I mouthed off to the people that were looking at me strange and some rude kids were laughing at me. A teenager girl with jeans and a jacket on riding a huge motorcycle as I went started to drift my attention away from the wheel I crashed into the sidewalk. Good thing nothing and no one was hurt. I returned the motorcycle and I could hear one of the dealers talking about me. I ignored him and went home. As I opened the door I threw the notebook on the couch and lay down on top of it. As I saw my cell phone I saw I had 4 new voicemail. I checked who it was and it was all from my father.
“Of course he calls now. “ I said aloud too myself. After listening to all the messages he just said how he is sorry and his fake sympathy made me chuckle. He wanted me to come and live with him. I knew sooner or later the police would come and make me stay with him until I turn 18. Then I am free again. I decided to go back to do then next thing on my list,
  2) Bungee jump over a bridge.
With my moms inheritance I could do whatever and spend whatever. When I walked over to the computer and typed in “bungee jumping “ I came across somewhere really close to my house. I got in my moms car and drove off. About an hour drive it took and as I went up the bridge the wind was going about 20 mph. As I put on the suit and harness it looked like my hands were shaking faster than a cell phone on vibrate. When I got in line I saw these one guy looks like in his mid 30’s jumping off a bridge. As he jumped off I could hear him scream as it faded away every second.
“Oh no, I’m next.” I thought to myself, the person who worked there hooked me up to the cord. I guess he was someone new because he stuttered to tighten the harness which made me freak out even more. I told myself that I have to do this and without knowing it my feet were in the air. I was enjoying the couple 3 seconds before I heard a crack.
“What the?” I said to myself as the harness loosened and I was falling down with no harness or parachute into the water. I closed my eyes and didn’t feel anything.
  As I woke up, I was in the hospital, strange people came up to me and I would see the tear filling in ones eyes. “Where am I, who are you?” I said I was so confused I didn’t know anything my mind was blank.
“I am your father.” A man with glasses and someone who looks like haven’t shaved in weeks said. “When you went in the river you hit your head knocking out my memory.” He said hold back the tears. ”So I have amnesia?” I pondered trying to get my memory back. This girl who looked around the same age as me handed my backpack that was filled with mud and leaves and told me it was mine. Look in it, maybe it will bring you back memories she said. As I scattered through the backpack all I saw was books and papers clumped and couple of notebooks and bitten pencils. “I’m sorry I don’t remember any of this. After about 30 minutes of dead silence my dad said for us to check out and head on home. The car ride my dad talked about my life and how my mother died. He didn’t really know anything else after that. But he told me when I saw young him and me were really close. I smiled a bit and said, “sounds like I had a pretty good life.” As I got out of the car my dad said that we lived here and walked me to the door handing me all these stuff.
  “Last chance to come to Michigan with me?” he offered but I opened the door shaking me head. When I looked out the window I would see him opening rambling his pockets looking for the keys then driving away. I was finally alone from everyone I was at a place I once knew but I didn’t know. It felt very uncomfortable. I sat in the couch looking around and trying to get familiarized. The backpack the one girl gave me was at the corner of the room, I walked gently over there to get the backpack and sat on the floor right in from of it. I dumped everything out of my backpack and boy it was a mess. A green notebook caught my eye where it had English crossed out and in big bold letter “Book of Adventure” across the page. I had the notebook in my hand and started to look around the house. This place was a mess. I went inside one of the cleanest rooms in the apartment and sat on the bed. As I opened the notebook that was in my hands I started reading everything. Tears started to just fall down my eyes and I didn’t even other holding it back. Even though my memory was blurry I could still remember now. My mom, my dad this books everything came to me. After there were no more tears I realized that I didn’t have to make a book for what I want to do before I die. Just living about going through life could be more of an adventure than anything in this book here. I felt so stupid that I didn’t realize this before I nearly killed myself. I started ripping out the pages out and ripped them apart. “I don’t need some notebook to tell me what I should do with my life.” As I walked out the room and out the door I was starting my new life living how I wanted to.